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Name: carolyn rochelle
Gender: Female
Interests: having no regrets...living life...taking a second to breathe and realizing....this is life...this is all we have
Occupation: Retired
Industry: Research
Message: message me
Jabber: wth is jabber? someone tell me
Member Since:
2/3/2004
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im in a very awkward mood so i guess thats why i feel like
writing. also, i haven't made a big entry in a while. and to be honest, i love
this thing...writing what you feel or something completely random. and sure
people see it, but it doesnt matter if they don't get it because you do and
it's all that matters.
I haven't made a legitamate entry in a really long time. an occasional lyric or
two, an 'emo' entry every once in a while and quite a few weekend replays.
i've changed alot. and i've watched the people around me change too. I've hurt
myself and i've hurt others...which sounds very rash- but it's fairly valid. my
relationships have changed with almost everyone i know....for better or for
worse. I've loved life, I've hated life...just as i've loved myself and hated
myself. i've learned how to control my emotions...meh actually i kinda take
that back. i've learned how to hold back my emotions when i had to...and to let
them go the only times i can...which is only really when i'm alone. my life has
been consumed with many things....in various amounts...but there have been a
few times when i have felt alone. and it was nice. i've found myself preferring
to be alone than with people i love...and i know that sounds scary- but i just
feel like i never get to really think anymore. my thoughts are always wandering
and its nice to just be alone and let them meander through my mind. i love
breaks in the year...and not for the lack of school or the freedoms....just for
the time to think. i think that's when i change the most. so thanksgiving was
great...and who knows what winter break will bring, but one can only hope. part
of me wants to go on and on about the mistakes i've made recently and regrets i
have...but then i think...how much of what i've done do i actually regret....or
if you can even call them 'mistakes'. and on top of it, the mistakes i've made
toward myself...and who knows if i regret that but it's been weird lately. the
weird thing about all of this is you would imagine someone who is writing this
to be one of those people who cries all the time whether they're happy or sad.
but...i can barely remember the last time i cried about my life...
thursday december 15th
saturday december 10th
sunday december 11th ( maybe)
thursday december 8th(rent)
wednesday november 30th
sunday, november 27th(rent/other)
thursday november 24th
wednesday november 23rd
wednesday november 2nd
saturday september 17th
tuesday august 23rd
monday august 22nd
sunday august 21st
friday august 19th
sunday august 14th
and i can't remember past that. not bad for a girl with such a little
depressing entry :)
but anyways...i don't really know how i'm feeling about life, but i know that
it's happening and i can't stop it...i just have to sit along for the ride.
<3carolyn rochelle
...But sometimes,
We forget what we got,
Who we are.
Oh who are are now.
I think we gotta chance,
To make it right.
Keep it loose,
Keep it tight.
Keep it tight...
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| i dont know why i use this anymoreeee...
last night was fun stressful sad amazing and everything into onnnnee
k bye.
We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching
I might take you home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate
So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place (that) you've known
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?
We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate
So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place (that) you've known
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?
So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place (that) you've known
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?
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I was born a fighter
I was born on a rainy day
Ive had my share of pain
But youve missed most of that
So many other things you had to do
You looked after you
Do you remember what u did
Did you know what youve just missed
Do you care about a word i have to say?
You took my innocence away and never had a chance to
You broke me in with your mistakes and thanks for the break through
I always come around
You took my innoncence away but the best of me stayed
It could be your running through all my veins
That ties me to your fame
If i could just close my eyes
I'd blackout all the reasons why
We're still in this place
What you want is what you got
You should have tried to make it stop
I guess you couldnt find a way to let me in
You took my innocence away and never had a chance to
You broke me in with your mistakes and thanks for the break through
But you wont bring me down
I always come around
You took my innoncence away but the best of me stayed
Loneliness have filled my soul
And it creeps inside it takes control
And i dont know how to begin giving up on everything
You took my innocence away and never had a chance to
You broke me in with your mistakes and thanks for the break through
But you wont bring me down
I always come around
You took my innoncence away but the best of me stayed
I join the queue on your
answerphone
And all I am is holding breath
Just pick up I know you're there
Can't you hear I'm not myself
Oh go ahead and lie to me
You could say anything
Small talk will be just fine
Your voice is everything
We owe it to love
And it all depends on you
So listen up
This sun hasn't set
I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling
Just hear me out, I'm not over you yet
It's love on the line can you handle it
So how do I do normal
A smile I fake
The permanent wave of
Cue-cards and fix-it kits
Can't you tell I'm not myself
I'm a slow motion
Lost in coffee rings and fingerprints
I don't wanna feel anything
But I do
And it all comes back to you
So listen up
This sun hasn't set
I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling
Just hear me out, I'm not over you yet
It's love on the line can you handle it
So listen up
Look at me straight
Just hear me out
Don't make me wait
I'm not myself
I can't take this
Love's on the line
Is that your final answer
I join the queue on your
answerphone
And all I am is holding breath
Just pick up I know you're there
So listen up
This sun hasn't set
I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling
Just hear me out, I'm not over you yet
It's love on the line can you handle it
So listen up
This sun hasn't set
I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling
Just hear me out, I'm not over you
It's love on the line can you handle it
So listen up
This sun hasn't set
I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling
Just hear me out, I'm not over you
It's love on the line can you handle it
I should've known the day we met
The way you turned and waved at me i never will forget
Two years later whoda guessed
That we would make it this far just to put it all the rest
And if it's alright ill stay until it's late until
You tell me that its time that we moved on
And if it takes all night ill wait here to the
Daylight so that i can see that we just dont belong
Its alright we were wrong
If you're crazy then im insane
2 people with the same condition it never goes away
Its not our problem anymore
But lets just call it even when im walking out that door
And oh it wont be easy cuz it was hard from the start
And if it's alright ill stay until it's late until
You tell me that its time that we moved on
And if it takes all night ill wait here to the
Daylight so that i can see that we just dont belong
Its alright we were wrong
Rest of me for some reason its in the sky so think im up high
Must have lived for some reason wasnt a lie -just wasnt right
And if it's alright ill stay until it's late until
You tell me that its time that we moved on
And if it takes all night ill wait here to the
Daylight so that i can see that we just dont belong
-Its alright we were wrong
I should've known the day we met
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| so...tiring weekend...
friday went to dinner...then p and f...ran home for a little bit then
back to p and f...chilled for a little, (sivan i love that song and
you) and then after a while ended up going home...
sounds boring, but was a very fun/eventful night
so saturday i slept late then went to go work at pwest for the musical,
that was fun...then me and britt went to shepton to be judges for nhs
hours(ew) so yeah...took her home, and then i chilled at my house
before i got ready for jessies! mmmmmm frick. so i picked sivs up and
we went to the party..it was sooo fun. plus the multiple bathroom
trips/elevator trips helped. i had alot of fun and happy birthday
footjix( OMG DO U REMEMBER THAT?with shrek and the pink nailpolish on
my carpet? and making necklaces while watching the britney spears
concert?) so haha tara has disentegrated since then jessie...lol. i
remember that day when tara was at willowbend at the end of exams last
yr and we freaked out. ok sorry. but i love you and happy birthday
littleFRICK.
then was the nom overnight! i have never 1) been so
embarrassed/intimidated/scared of boys in my life and 2) seen so many
boys who can play guitar at the same time and who decide to play it for
hours on end. haha but anyways it was so fun! and im glad we had some
quality spooning time apres and zach. mmmhmm.we were so mean kicking
everyone off the bed so sorry kids. lol...but anyways it was fun. miles
sorry i stepped on your head in the morning hah.
so now im home and i went to sleep for a little bit but yeah.
yay weekend but im so tired. friday= 1.5 hours + 2.5 in the morning
saturday= 4 hours + 1 in the morning
weekend= 9 hours of sleep(9 out of 18 hours that should have been slept
in the weekend)
bye kids.
<3carolyn
find me here
speak to me
i want to feel you
i need to hear you
you are the light
that is leading me
to the place where
i find peace again
you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life to my soul
you are my purpose
you are everything
and how can i
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
you calm the storms
you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
and you take my breath away
would you take me in
would you take me deeper now
and how can i
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
'cause you're all i want
you are all i need
you are everything
everything
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homecoming...crazy night/weekend.
with it came its share of drama but what doesn't have drama these days?
it was fun and i had a great time(for the most part). i looove girl
talks and sorry molly for popping that balloon. and i loved the bounce
house. and the hummer limo. and the trampoline. and the hammock. and of
course...laffy taffy.
so yay for that. i really like grey's anatomy.mmmm
i want a little sister...or just a little frick to throw around.
hmm so lyrics/emotions for this xanga? i think soooooo...
peace out <3 carolyn
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
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